Do it anyway… with Rejoicing

We have had so many road blocks in the past few years at my church in the freedom aspect. Lives just torn down and discouraged with a heaviness that was tangible throughout the body, week after week. We would see some little glimpses of breakthrough and then a door would lock in our faces.

Recently there was some great advancements, the keys handed to us and we kept unlocking door after door. Families and relationships restored, jobs opening up and healing over different people. The joy bubbling forth in new ways, vision and passions being revived, hope abounding and the dancing, singing, art and musicians broke free. We were standing on reclaimed territory.

It was not very long before new and bigger physical battles arose. I feel God has taken us to a place of great strength spiritually, so the physical was under attack. Wearing us down, discouraging and all together bubble bursting.

Our pastor was hit in a very big way, my household has been hit in a very big way, the worship leaders home has been hit in a very big way. The list goes on and on and on.

We had begun new ministry direction and all the wars raging around us, knocking the leaders out, could have stopped the new opportunities in the tracks.

That is when God spoke very clear to me, “DO IT ANYWAY!”

I replied, “But God, I don’t know how to lead prayer, and worship.” God said, “DO IT ANYWAY!” So we had prayer and worship the very night the pastor had surgery. We felt something shift in the atmosphere. Rather than discouraged we were doing this without the leadership, I felt like a warrior, going into battle and taking ground, step by step by step. Things were shifting and happening and great victory came forth.

There have been many other opportunities that the Lord has told me lately… “DO IT ANYWAY.”
It does not matter that I hurt, it does not matter that I don’t know how, it does not matter that obstacles keep rising up. I WILL KEEP REJOICING. I WILL KEEP SINGING. I WILL KEEP OPENING DOORS FOR OTHERS TO HAVE OPPORTUNITY TO DO SO. I WILL DO IT ANYWAY!!!!!

My husband spent yesterday, all day in the hospital. We have more tests to pursue concerning his health.  The finances are in a horrible place as He has been out of work, had surgery and the bills are mounting around us. My pain was screaming like ever so often this morning and I wanted to stay home. But God said “DO IT ANYWAY,” So I went to church. I wanted to paint, but I have limits, but God said, “DO IT ANYWAY,” So I painted. I wanted to dance, but my body hurt and others were around, and God said “DO IT ANYWAY,” So I danced.

My JOY was filled to the brim. My circumstances faded in the background and like a little child dancing, painting and singing, there was no other thought than the one that I was doing it for. In my situation I was doing it for Jesus. Praising His mighty name despite all that surrounds me.

.  This is the painting that came forth during my worship.
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The message shared this morning after worship and my painting, was JOY.

I had no idea.

JOY JOY JOY comes to mind again and again.

The definition of REJOICE:
FEEL OR SHOW GREAT JOY OR DELIGHT!

Regardless of my situations around me, all that is flooding against me, in worship Rejoicing over my Lord and showing great delight; My joy bursts forth and that is exactly where I want to be.

1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18  Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

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Clanging cymbals

 

I Corinthians 13:1 “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.”

I have read this scripture many times over the years. But recently as a friend of mine was hurting in her anxiety and depression, and I was shouting out God’s goodness and how He pulled me through, I realized in a moment that I was not loving her. I was not meeting this friend where she was but trying to shout out how the Lord pulled me from the pit.  I wanted to see this same glorious victory in her life,  but there is a time when if all I am doing is shouting out joy, joy, joy… I can be a clanging cymbal.

It may not be comforting to a friend that is watching her life crumble around her, to hear,  ” I have been there, this is what you need to do!”
While I do believe in encouraging and edifying my sister and I do believe it is so important to sing the praises of my Jesus when He has shown me His joy,
There is a time and place for it.
Love is patient, kind, does not boast, not-self seeking. Am I being kind, patient and not self seeking when I want to hurry my friend through her burdens rather than walking by her side? I want her to be full of joy, but is that because I am uncomfortable with her hurting?

The word says there is a time and season for everything. There is a time to mourn but JOY comes in the morning. Am I rushing my friend to her morning, before God has completed the work in her? Am I a discouragement, when she is not seeing the joy that I am proclaiming and as she sits there while I am dancing about blind to her sorrow?

If I had been a clanging cymbal to you my friend in the past as I rejoice in my joy. I am sorry. I want you to have joy in abundance, and I want to share how I reached it, but in your time, when you are ready. God has begun a work in you, and He will complete it, in HIS time.

Lord grant me the wisdom to know when to be quiet and walk beside and when to SHOUT out your glorious JOY. For I don’t want to be a clanging harsh noise to the ears of those around me, but a song of praise stirring within the spirit of those hurting. Help me to know what is needed in the moment.

 

 

Enough

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I am enough

He makes me enough

I am what He has called me to be

I will accomplish what He lays before me

I have all that I need

He will guide my hands

He will guide my feet

I am enough

He makes me enough

I am what He has called me to be

 

These words came to me in song tonight as we drove home from the Oregon Coast. We had taken a quick day trip and over and over, God showed me His amazing abilities through His creation. If He created such amazement, why do I doubt what He can do in me?

God  gave me the words… An artist thinks with his soul. I don’t think in my natural brain when I am creating. But let me tell you as soon as I am done, all my own flesh natural thoughts come my way. “It is not good enough.” ” I am so embarrassed by showing this side of me.” And on and on my thoughts will come, each time I complete something the Lord lays on my heart, and I doubt the sharing.

His words to me today ring so true; An artist thinks with his soul. I need to let my words of destruction and discouragement  get out of my way. They need to stop plaguing me after the fact.

I will meditate on the words of this song He had given to me, and I will be thankful that I am just as He has created me to be. Who am I to deny that what God has done is good? I am enough in His eyes. I am capable in His view and I will no longer live the lie that I am unable. I will do, what He lays before me and that is enough.

Full Circle: The river is here

Many many years ago before my fibromyalgia diagnosis, during the season of being sick but not knowing what it was, I had a very detailed dream. I had dreamt that I was in the midst of a storm blazing all around me and in front of me there was a river with someone in it. The person said ” You have to go through the storm in order to get to the river.” Then I woke up. Well I knew I was in the midst of the storm.

Then the diagnosis of Fibromyalgia came and along with it depression. ‘This just was how it was going to be.” (doctor’s words not mine). I began to be so severely depressed that I asked God where my joy was and He said, “you have it you just need to find it.”

In that season I had a great friend teaching me about the praises out of our mouths and our healing. SO I began to praise in the storm, rejoice and look for my joy in all circumstances. I painted this picture representing myself praising the Lord in the storm.

 

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It has been a very long journey and I can say despite my circumstances I have Joy to the full.  Praise Jesus!!! But I never understood the river part. What was the river? I put this dream on the back file in my brain for YEARS.

This weekend we were having a prayer and worship weekend with a church that we have been attending for the last three years. God has done some growing in me over this season. Learning to talk out my feelings rather than burying them, stepping out in gifting rather than hiding them and excepting my differences for strengths rather than weaknesses. The understanding that I am ME and that is who I am meant to be. Understanding God’s grace, peace, strength and gentleness in new deeper ways.

Well I tell you during this weekends worship, I was dancing and praising, while sick mind you, and the Lord just filled me with a newness I could not quite yet identify. I knew my healing had come full circle. I knew in an instant that I had the choice to not pick the illness back up. No longer was Fibromyalgia my identifier!!

As I worshipped I saw this picture so clearly and as my husband lead a prophetic drum workshop I opened the floor to prophetic painting as well. I put paint to canvas as I danced to his drums and while I knew the picture represented a new day and a new beginning and that the person was dancing in the river, it hadn’t dawned on me that I WAS THE PERSON. I had come to the river and was submerged. God kept bubbling song and image in my heart for two days.

Sitting in my living room I was looking at the old picture of me praising in the storm and I just got teary eyed. That was the dream, going through the storm and then I completed the picture with dancing in the river. I had no idea the dancing in the river picture was for me until that moment. I then relaized, it had come full circle, I am dancing in the river of God!

John 7:38

“He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.'”

 

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There is a song I sang as a child. I am posting the lyrics below. This song fits my heart this new day it is so real and so tangible and I am ready for what HE has next!!!

Down the mountain the river flows
And it brings refreshing wherever it goes
Through the valleys and over the fields
The river is rushing and the river is here

[Chorus]
The river of God sets our feet a-dancing
The river of God fills our hearts with cheer
The river of God fills our mouths with laughter
And we rejoice, for the river is here

[Verse 2]
The river of God is teeming with life
And all who touch it can be revived
And those who linger on this river’s shore
Will come back thirsting for more of the Lord

[Chorus]

[Verse 3]
Up to the mountain, we love to go
To find the presence of the Lord
Along the banks of the river we run
We dance with laughter, giving praise to the Son

 

A quiver full of blessings

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Our children are an inheritance of the Lord, a blessing and a joy.

Most days as my boys were growing up I knew this, however, there were those days I felt I was doing everything wrong and surely God made a mistake giving them to me. Maybe I should ship them to Bermuda.

There were days of stress, anger and shouting. Days of rebellion, tugging and shoving.

Then, it would all shine and be gloriously amazing and I would think we had passed the hurdle, only to see another up ahead.

I have friends that are in the midst of the highs and lows of parenting these days and my heart is to hopefully encourage. Those moments of frustrations and complete hair pulling stress will pass. Hold fast onto the word of the Lord that our children are our reward! I know in the midst of life, business and the drama you are exhausted beyond belief many days. More importantly the Lord knows this and as you cry out for strength He will grant it to you. I also know that there will be a day, when you look back and you say, thank you Lord, this was a great season and I am so thankful where you have brought us.

I truly wish that when my boys were in the midst of their craziness that I held my joy a little bit better, and a lot longer. I wish they saw less of a frazzled and anxious mom. I know that we are human and that we will make mistakes but now in the end of the game of raising the boys I see those things that once seemed so big and I was sure was going to ruin them, were in reality their growing.

Just like the big grown up adults we are, children need to discover the Lord and His tugging themselves. They need to feel the conviction of their wrongs and joys of obedience. The only way they will discover this for themselves is to live life. Making mistakes, following their flesh and acting in their human selves. What a joy to know that we get to help them along and learn how to listen to God’s voice early. I wish this dawned on me a lot sooner than it did. Maybe I would have enjoyed the journey in the midst of the junk a bit more.

Now as my boys are grown adults I hold fast to the word of the Lord. They are my reward. I am so blessed by the young men they have become. They are following their OWN paths in this life, I know I aimed for my mark and released each one into this world with the truth that they will impact the kingdom of God.  They are my quiver full of blessings. They are my joy.  Be encouraged my friend and count it all great joy, these children in your hands, are here for just a moment, then they will soar.

Psalm 127:3-5 

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They will not be ashamed When they speak with their enemies in the gate

A New Day

Inspired! An amazing weekend in Dundee Oregon taking part in the Awaken the Dawn.
This is a prophetic painting and song that began and came forth this weekend. Spent time in the Lord tonight finishing it up. I am so thankful He has chosen to give me a NEW DAY.  I will sing it, shout it, paint it, and dance. My arms wide open to recieve the gift He has begun!

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I’ve seen your tears

I’ve heard your cries

I’ve felt your heartache

It’s time to dry those eyes

It’s a new day…. it’s a new day…a new day for you

I’ve seen your brokenness

I’ve heard your screams

I’ve felt your loneliness 

It’s time to let go and dream

It’s a new day… it’s a new day… a new day for you

No more bitterness

No more shame

No more hatred

No more pain

It’s a new day… it’s a new day… a new day for you

 

SO MUCH MORE!!!

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I was praying for and discussing the heart of my friend to my husband yesterday. As I spoke about her heart and the gift she is, God revealed some amazing truths and my spirit just leapt in joy and my eyes filled with tears.

This friend is in a season where her boys are on the threshold of adulthood, and I know she is asking. “what’s next, what is for me now?”

I saw my friend as a beautiful jeweled box. It is gorgeous and serves a purpose just as it is. But inside are incredible jewels that she has yet to discover. There is so much beauty in her future. So many treasures to be revealed and shared in new ways with others that cross her path.

This is an exciting future. God is going to pour His presence in new ways and she will get to discover what has been hidden in her heart, coming into season. There will be new passions and a great stirring up that will bring great joy into her life and the lives of others.

God is going to move in mighty ways, taking the treasure within this friend and pour it forth. She will delight those that get to experience the treasure she holds.  She will have a great impact, they will be overcome.

Just you wait my friend there is SO MUCH MORE than what is expected, and not only will it be good, it will be astounding!

 

2 Corinthians 4: 6 -7 

For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. 7 Now we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this surpassingly great power is from God and not from us.