My parents had dealt with fertility issues after I was born. I saw them hurt and ache for more children. My father was my daddy from day one, but he had no biological children of his own and he hungered for that! He never ever made me feel less, just that he wanted more. I saw them look into private adoption ( it was more affordable) Only to have the leads fall through. I saw mom cry after every fertility appointment. They loved on other people’s children over the years but I was their only one. I wonder how things could have been different if they had been able to do a surrogate.
Not long after my own pregnancy journeys came to an end, I began thinking about the gift of being a surrogate. I wanted to be a vessel but had no direction or inkling on when or how. I knew that with my faith I had my own restrictions on what was acceptable for me personally in the process. I had no push to be a surrogate for income but for ministry.
Recently I started longing to be pregnant again. Not to have children of my own, but to carry a child. I was awoken one night and the Lord prompted me, ask ________ if they have considered a surrogate. It was one o’clock in the morning, I had looked at my phone. So the next day I texted my friend if she had considered this route when all the doors were being closed for her otherwise to have a child.
My friend, battling with the thought that she could not carry her own child or adopt had at that very moment God woke me up, been watching a surrogate story and said “God if this is your route send someone” and I said, ” Here I am!” And so with some fasting, prayer, direction from leadership and agreement with our spouses, we are beginning the most amazing journey of my… life together.
We still may run into some roadblocks. The doctors still have a few tests that may tell us no. But we are ready, willing and prayerfully able. I am so excited. She tends to hold her excitement in check for fear of disappointment.
I do have fears, many, but they are always silenced for the moment with, Lord if it is your will, it will happen. God can use our science to make amazing things happen and He can protect my body in the process.
I am so excited at this prospect! I just instantly tear up thinking about the joy of parenthood and the opportunity to be a part of the gift.
God is so good and I say, Yes Lord, use me!