One thing I have just realized in the last couple weeks is that I was walking in fear.
Now I am not talking fear of the boogie man under my bed, or that the sky is going to fall or even that our finances are going to go into the pit. My fear was much more subtle than that to me.
I am talking about fear that pain in my body from an activity on one day, would be causing pain again on another day. Let me see if I can clarify this through words.
I went to the gym on a Monday and a Wednesday. Both days I walked around the gym for thirty minutes. I felt great at the time, but then came Friday. I hurt so bad Friday, Sat, Sunday and Monday that I haven’t been back to the gym since out of fear that I would hurt if I did.
I went to the zoo with my family and the drive there, the day, and drive home left me hurting for three days. When the opportunity came to drive to California for a memorial service I told my mom no, that driving an hour hurt my body, 16 hours in four days would REALLY hurt my body. Again I was reacting in fear.
I do know there is wisdom in listening to your body and taking care of yourself. If I completely walk foolishly I will have a consequence… But I had gotten to the point where I was ‘expecting’ an activity to cause pain and began to live less and less.
I also got to the point where I wouldn’t make plans because I felt SO bad when a virus or pain would hit me and I would have to cancel on someone (again).
I can not let the enemy keep me from living. I must go forward and make plans and not think of how I felt yesterday but let each day be a NEW day.
I must be allowed to use my gifting and not let the enemy keep me from people. It is very easy for me to be like a gopher, hiding in my hole. I must work at being involved and keeping my head above the dirt so to speak.
No matter how much the enemy wants to shovel on me, I will not let him bury me or hold me down.
I DO KNOW God’s word, His word says He has not given me a spirit of fear. I foolishly let myself think that that fear was only of spiritual darkness , I am now learning it can be of past physical pain as well.
We can deal with areas in our life only when they are exposed. Now that I know I was walking in fear I can choose to stand up and say no more.
Challenge this day my friend: Examine your life. Is there an area of fear that needs to be exposed and dealt with?
Think on your relationships, finances, health, or even the boogy man under the bed. Stand up and say, that fear can no longer own me!
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.