I failed at love and then learned what it truly is

With Valentines day coming up, I am seeing hearts and cards in the stores and it got me to reflecting on LOVE.

LOVE, what does it really mean? Now I know there is that lovey dovey heart , emotional feeling love. But our emotions and feelings can be so fleeting, if we get in our own way or start ‘feeling’ out of love.

Often my family and some friends have pushed my patience level to the brink. I have been hurt that they are not listening, they do not call, or come around unless they need something. Simply put, they were not being aware of MY needs. When these trials arose  I would often pout, shout  or shut down completely into a world of poor me.   I would begin to get bitter and turn them away, so that they could not use me and hurt me any more.

I  have cut some of these people out of my life when the hurt becomes constant, because I have held on to each offense.

I am so thankful for the lessons in life that have taught me the truth of the situations. As hard as it was to look at myself straight in the mirror, I had to do it. It is in front of that mirror that I discovered; the issue is not them, but me.

Why is it that I find all their actions, concerning me so much? Is my comfort level that much more important than they are? Is my happiness supposed to out shine theirs?

Where my immediate family is concerned , in the past I have completely ruined the atmosphere in my home with my grumbling and complaining because they were all playing too loudly or discussing too admittedly their concerns with each other. I would  blow up because they are arguing or talking back, rather than giving the soft answer that the bible calls for.

I ask myself, “why is it, the ones that I love the most, can push me over the edge the quickest?” The answer is startling! I am not loving them.

In order to understand the fullness of joy the Lord has for us, we MUST comprehend love. Love is not-self seeking. When my children are ‘irritating’ me, often there is no reason for me to be irritated. I am just annoyed, because I am seeking what I want over what they are.

If my husbands expressions of how he loves me, are different from what I wanted, I would grumble and criticize. I was trying to change the very gift that the Lord had given me with him.

When I’ve  seen someone hurt that has once hurt me, I have boasted or been proud.

God made it very apparent to me what love was awhile back. And for the most part, great joy has come in as I settle on the word and apply love like His in my life.

I do fail and I do miss it, but thankfully I fail and miss it less and less as I learn more and more.

Love is an action. It is not a feeling. When I am irritated and impatient I am not acting in love.

The bible is very clear on the actions we are to take in love. Jesus was loving, he was giving, he was kind and I am to be Christ like. Who else will be the prime example in my children’s lives while they are home? I want my friends and family to see the kind of love that lives and dwells in me, when I allow my self to get out of my own way.

Challenge this day my friend: Find areas that we can exhibit love that we never thought was an act of Love before. And feel free to comment on the steps we have taken on our comment section. I would love to hear the different ways we are actively  loving our family, friends, coworkers, teachers, church members, neighbors and more.

Lets’ spread true love, one action at a time by following these words below :

1 Corinthians 3:4-7

Love is PATIENT, Love is KIND.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is NOT SELF-SEEKING,

it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs

love does not delight with evil, but rejoices in truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres

(NIV)

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One thought on “I failed at love and then learned what it truly is

  1. Pingback: Choose Joy | writingforjoy

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